Monday, 12 December 2011


Been in a negative mood but trying to be positive.  I just read a story about Santuary4kids, and it was so inspiring about a family getting back together in Nepal. It's amazing how people are doing stuff to make a difference, even in the darkest of times there is still good.  Sanctuary is one of my favourite shows next to Stargate. Amanda Tapping is amazing!!  It's so great to see her helping kids, that she is making an impact in people's lives outside of acting.  I really respect her. She is my favourite actress.  If you wanta look up Sanctuary for kids the link is here:  People helping people brings a light to my day even though a lot of times I feel consumed by darkness.  Even though there's darkness in the world, their is also positive stuff.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

I've been sick but I got back to work today it was good to work with kids again. It makes me realize how much I miss my job when I'm not at it but i feel bad for missing work especially when people are counting on me.  I got my appetite back today i haven't been eating much recently , which is really good. I am meeting with my group after class today for our presentation I hope we can get some stuff done, nervous about that.  Our presentation is on  Child Care. The course is Women work and public policy. I'm trying to be positive  which is hard sometimes but I'm working on it.

Sunday, 30 October 2011

thinking about the future...

Haven't written for a while. I am busy with school and work.  I am taking three courses  Intro Chinese,   Women work and Public Policy, and  community Mental Health. I like my classes. I just wonder what I'm going to do after I graduate. I work at a daycare , I really like it. I like working with kids. Today i was volunteering at church with a girl with special needs. I want to help people, but I wonder how I will go about it.  I can;t do much with just a sociology- social psychology degree.  Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the years I spent getting my degree. Like if I go do a college program  even if it's fast tracked it takes me a lot longer then if I just took a two year program. Will a degree really get me somewhere.  I try to have hope that this will all  work out, this blog is about positive stuff anyways, but sometimes life isn't the way you want it to be.  If I get my masters in social work then the degree will be worth it, but I'm so afraid I won't be able to get in.  Also I'm interested in Autism and Behavioural Sciences which is a post grad certificate, but I could have done that if I had an ECE diploma or SSW diploma which would have taken less time.  Though I love my courses and love studying. So I guess it's not a waste.  It just seems like I spend all this money on school and I won't make that much.  Not that I'm after the money , but I would need enough to survive. Social workers make more then Social Services workers but still it's not a lot.  Teaching could make more, as much as I love kids I don't know  if I could handle all those kids, i'm better working one on one, like with a kid with special needs. Though I do like working in the day care.  I could go for teacher's college but I know teaching is also really stressful. I guess all the jobs I'm looking at are stressful.  I want to help people , I'm not after money. I just worry to much wonder about my future. Wonder if I will ever get married have children. I've even considered adoption but I know that is expensive and you need some money to do that.  I guess getting out into the work force and the real world scares me.  I'm trusting God has a plan and he will lead me in the right direction next year.  I might take a year off and do something , like go to China. I've also thought of teaching English as a second language, that would be cool. Though I like working with kids too.  I love working with internationals. If I could work with kids in another country with special needs that would be perfect. There is an option of volunteering in an Orphanage in China which is cool, but it's volunteer and not paid and in the end i will need some sort of job.  Well I should go to bed, thanks for reading.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

This is not really positive but not everything in life is positive and it's something important. I was talking in class about women's work, and how there is still a gender gap between men and women, men get  paid more the women, women get penalized for being a mother.  Also the thing they don't tell us when we start are degree is that most of us won't get high paying jobs in our fields.  The Universities are trying to make money, and the President makes millions of dollars, while students go in dept, it's really not fair. Tuition rates have gone up 400% in the last 10 years, that's insane.  It kind of makes me wonder if my university degree is worth it, if I can't get into a good job. I am looking at possibly getting my masters in social work.  So if i do that then that's  good  but then there's issues whether or not i will get into grad school. Anyways i g2g to bed I will write more later.

Sunday, 4 September 2011


I just finished reading a book called " The Messenger"  it is about Mattie J.T. Stepanek.  This is an amazing story about a young boy who had a terminal illness but this didn't let him get in the way. He was able to make an impact on people in his life and around the world.  He wrote  his own books and talked about Peace around the world.  Even though he was dying and on life support  he made an impact in people's lives. Even people who are the sickest can have hope and make an impact.  No matter what you are going through you can be positive and come out of it the other end.  Even the mother Jeni was able to have a positive attitude despite her lost. She lost 4 children  to a neuromuscular  disease that she herself had. I think it takes a lot of courage to write a book and express positives of life even though she was in grief and loss.

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Soul Surfer

Soul Surfer is the most amazing movie. It is a great example of perseverance and determination.  This is a true story of how  girl went through an amazing hard time but she fought through it and went back to surfing, she didn't give up  She got back in the water . she was able to deal with trauma  and move on.  She was also a Christian which was cool it also showed how God  helped her get through it. She trusted God even though she didn't understand.  Her Youth pastor told her she didn't know why God always stuff to happen, and it's cool how God took her life and made her an inspiration to other people.  She also went to Thailand and helped people, she helped a boy get back into the water after a tsunami. It's amazing how she was able to take a bad situation and turn it into good. "Life is tough, get back on the board and try again, you will be successful with what you do."

I have gone through some hard times in my life and God has helped my through, but this movie has really encouraged that I can succeed even when it feels like it is impossible.  I think anyone can move through stuff and move on and succeed even in difficult situations.  God can really help people get through tough times . This movie also made me really  thankful that I have two arms. We complain a lot about life and how bad it is but most of us have two arms, and without an arm Bethany was able to do stuff we do with two arms, it's amazing. I think it's a good movie to watch if you want a pick me up and to feel thankful about what you have. Bethany was thankful for what she had when she went to Thailand.

Precious and other thoughts.

I watched to movie precious. Its a novel about an overweight teenage her that is having her  second child  after being raped by her Father. She's also abused by her mother. It is a really sad story. Though I know this stuff happens to people around the world.  Though  the movie shows that people can get better even in the most desperate situations and I know that people can get better . This story  reminds me of freedom writers which is another good movie which is based on a true story that talk about kids who get given a good education and a teacher believes and them and they are able to succeed, some of these kids went to college  the first out of there families.  I think people can be helped if they have people who really care, who will listen to them and care about them. People do much better when they have someone who believes in them that thinks they can succeed, and sadly not all kids grow up in an encouraging environment so sometimes they need encouragement from outside sources . Teachers can have a huge impact on a child or teenager. I thought of being a teacher or a social worker because I want to help people who are in need and make in impact in people's lives especially kids, because they are young and it's easier to make an impact in a child's life then someone who is older.  Though I'm also really interested in working with children with special needs.  I want to use my work to be able to help people who are in need.  I still don't know totally what i want to do with my future but I know I want to be able to help other people.

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Book : Sarah's Key , etc.

I just finished reading another book. Sarah's Key. Though it's a fictional book it talks about an historical event that happened in France, the notorious Vel' d'Hiv Roundup in 1942.   It was a really good book but sad.  Now I really don't think I can come up with any positives  about the holocaust and  I'm not going to try.  It just makes me think a lot about this world and how sad  it is that people can be so evil to other people  and hate them because of who they are.  Though the only positive thing that happened during that time was the few people that helped the jews out like  the couple from the farm in the story of Sarah's Key. Though a true story of someone who helped the Jews was Corrie Ten Boom. She wrote the book  The Hiding Place that tells about her story and what she dealt with at the concentration camp.  The amazing thing is that she was able to forgive to man who was so mean to her and her sister in the camp.  So I guess I didn't see any positives at first but if you look at Corrie Ten Boom you can see that even out of the most devastating situations there can be forgiveness.  There was a big difference been the character Sarah and Corrie in that way, even though Sarah's story was fictional I'm sure it has truth to it and similar stuff happened to someone.  We have a choice we can let our past haunt us like it did Sarah or we can use are past to help others and forgive people  like Corrie Ten Boom.   Though Corrie Ten Boom  was a Christian  and that is why she was able to forgive just as God forgave us she was able to forgive her worse enemy.

"Even as the angry vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him....Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness....And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives along with the command, the love itself."
Corrie Ten Boom (The Hiding Place)

"Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart."
Corrie Ten Boom

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Not Without My Daughter... Spoiler

Just watched the movie Not Without My Daughter. It's a sad but good movie. It shows the way in which Iran  was like at the time and the way in which they treated women.  Though it has been positive because some of this stuff has changed over the years and woman's rights have been developed more in Iran. It's really sad to see how little control women had over there lives and we think we are oppressed because we don't have enough money to buy the newest clothes. At least we have a choice in what clothes we wear, during the  time of this movie they had to cover up when out in  public and had really strict rules.  I have nothing against women who want to wear the "hijab" or want to cover there heads, but i do think it's wrong if it is forced upon them to do so.  People should have the right to choose the way in which they live and not be forced to wear something they don't want to wear.  Though I do know however many people do wear the covering for religious reasons and I respect that.

The movie has a positive ending as she is able to escape with her daughter and come back to America, this shows that even in the toughest situations when things seem impossible good can come out of it. It's amazing she was able to escape and many women  are not so lucky. It also shows that there are good people out there wanting to help others in need. It was interesting they took her passport and jewelry for safe keeping, so no one would know she was American when she was escaping through Iran. Though they gave it back to her once she reached Turkey... which amazes me because they could have easily kept it especially the jewelry and get money from it.

I like that this movie is based on a true story, I love movies like that because it feels real. Though I do know that it was  filmed in America and therefore there is some bias , and I know there has been some criticism about the movie , I think I need to read the book to see how close it is to the movie, but if the book is close to the movie, then that's what happened to her and I don't see anything wrong with portraying that.

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Invisible Children, etc...

There are many organizations that are helping people in need. I have been looking at videos from Invisible Children. 

"  Invisible Children is an organization based out of San Diego, California. Named after the organization's 2003 film with the same title, IC's goal is to end a 22-year war that has been raging in northern Uganda. This war has forced families into displacement camps where many children are kidnapped and taken as child soldiers by the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army). The LRA is led by Joseph Kony and their main goal is to overthrow the government.

For more info visit

1. End the war in northern Uganda and change the lives of thousands in the region through education and economic opportunities.

2. Inspire youth culture to value creativity, idealism and sacrifice by becoming a part of the movement of advocacy and awareness.

3. Connect people to the war-affected children in northern Uganda through compelling stories and revolutionary programs. "

Taken from invisible children : causes

 I'm not sure where I first heard about this organization it might have been through school but they seem to be doing good for the poeple of Uganda.  They have  started a Legacy Scholarship Fund which raises money to help children go to school.  It's good to see causes out there helping children around the world.


There is another cause that is good, and it's called Hope is Sold .  This cause raises awareness about Sex Trafficking , it is just starting out but I know the poeple who run it Jay and Michelle because I went to school with them, I think it's great that someone I went to school with is trying to make a difference in this world and Raising awareness about an important cause.


Another organization that I know is World Vision, my parents sponsor a child through them, it's nice to see people giving there money in order to help others who are in worse off situations.   Another organization that sponsors children is Compassion Canada.

I know that there's lots of ideas about NGOs  and if they are really helping, though i would like to think that some people are making a difference even if it's one person at a time.

Random stuff I'm thinking....

Well I'm back from holidays. Just finished reading the book " I miss mummy" by Cathy Glass. It is a really good  story , kind of sad,  and talks about a girl who is in foster care, it has a good ending and its based on a true story it shows me that  even in tough situations positive stuff can come out of it. Even if it's not fun in the process. It could have been better another way but the way it happened happened and well it's good people were able to make the most of the situation and have a positive outcome in the end.  Though it also points out some of the negatives about  Social services, but know organization is perfect and yes there are  problems with social services and mistakes being made, it has to be a really hard job for the social workers and other people who work in that field.  Taking kids out of there homes and into foster care must be a really hard thing to do.  Though also many kids get into good home situations and get adopted . Though being adopted has it's own issues and problems.

I'm applying for work study job at the University, I've emailed people  for working with children in different areas but most wanta work with kids with special needs, I also emailed the library and disability services, I'm hoping I can get one, because it would be much better to get a job that pays and something I'm interested in. I'm just hoping it will work out for the best, and that if I get an offer the one I want will show up first so I don't  accept the offer for one and find out later I could have got another job that I liked better.

It's interesting, I tend to worry a lot about the future but I need to trust God that he will work it out.  I worry about whether I will take the right courses, whether courses will get offered in the future, whether I will get a job, get into grad school etc.  I am trying to be positive but sometime anxiety gets in the way.  Anxiety can get in the way of life and functioning.

Just saw a commercial for sending money for a drought in Africa, that's one thing I wish I had was money so I could give it to charities and stuff.  Like there's so many stuff I would want to give to if I had some extra money.  Last Christmas I asked for part of my Christmas present was  money towards clothing for children through World Vision. My parents sponsor a child and I hope once I have a stable job that I can sponsor a child too.  If I can's send money I want to help people out any way I can. I have been looking into volunteer stuff but I also have to keep in mind of my time and not stress myself out to much, because if I get sick then I won't be able to do anything not alone help other people.  I have a passion for people who struggle with stuff. I love working with children , teenagers, adults with special needs because they are such special people and I want to help them. But even though I am helping them I find that these people also make an impact in my life.  I also love working with people from other countries, especially those trying to learn English because it's something I can help them with.  Plus you can learn a lot from them as well, I love learning about other people's culture. It is so interesting. I think if I wasn't taking sociology and psychology I would take anthropology. Luckily I can take some SOAN ( Sociology/Anthropology) courses because the soc and anthro are in the same department. Heck if I could go to school for more i would probably do anthropology or even like East Asian studies.

I love studying there is so much I would love to study.  It's going to be weird when I finish school, that's part of the reason I want to get my Masters is I love studying and learning stuff. I just hope that someday I can put what I learn to use and be able to help other people with what I have learned.  I'm still not sure what i want to do after i graduate I am still thinking about doing my MSW  (Masters in Social Work) but I'm so terrified about  prof references , especially if I'm going to take time off in between. Though if I wait for 5 years after I graduate I won't need a prof reference but if anything I will go away for like 2 years  before I go to grad school. I have been looking at the options of going to Kairos for a year with Reign Ministries, or teaching english as a second language with English language institute ( most likely China), or my most recent interest working at an orphanage for 2 years in China.  Though  Kairos has an age limit so if I want to do that I have to do that right after I graduate so I really need to think and pray about it.  It's weird there is so much I can do that I don't know what to do. Graduating soon is getting exciting but also nerve racking as well ( back to the whole anxiety thing.)

Watching Oprah , talking about prison about women getting put in because of something boyfriend did, but that's a whole other topic, I could talk about that too, the prison system and how they treat people, but that would mostly be negative.  Though woman in jail are like any other woman and many of them have made just one simple mistake  and it can screw them up for life, it's interesting. Though I do know someone who has had a record  made the most of  a bad past and using it now to help other people.

Anyways  I will stop writing stuff.. watching Dr. Oz right now, kind of odd medical stuff but interesting. 

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

New day...

Well it's a new day at the cottage. I'm doing good been reading. I like reading. Starting school soon. Getting excited to start school, but I  hope the courses will work out. I'm planning on taking Community Mental Health, Woman Work and Public Policy and Intro Chinese.  I'm only taking it part time, which is ok but sometimes I feel stupid but like I tried taking four before and couldn't handle it, I hope some day in the future I will be able to handle stuff full time because I want to be able to work full time and be normal like everyone else. I'm doing a lot better with stuff so maybe I can handle more, but I don't really wanta chance 4 courses because last time I did that I had to drop and lost tons of money.  I have three more semesters left if I take 3 courses a semester. I might take it in the summer but I might do it next fall too, I'm considering going to China to work in the orpahange during part of the summer, and getting a job for the rest. Well time to sign off the computer. I hope everyone is having a good day!!  Even though it's raining today it can still be positive. Don't forget to look for the positives.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

On holidays...

well I'm on holidays been reading a lot of books. ONe boos I read was Boy Alone, good book but a little sad I wish it had a happier outcome but the cool thing is the author imagined what it could have been like so he had some positive thoughts.  I'm now reading embracing the wide sky. It's really interesting and about the brain.  I love that kind of stuff. It's sad Jack Layton died he was a good man. 

"Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." -Jack Layton.   

The cottage is nice reading and sleeping and stuff before school starts. Get home on thurs and have to register for my mandrine course. I hope that it works out. The other two courses I'm planning on taking is  Community Mental Health, and Woman Work and Public Policy. I have been looking into volunteer stuff.  I have a bunch of replies and going to fill out some applications. We will see what happens. If I could work with  kids with special needs that would be great or people from another country or just kids in general. I applied again to colunteer with Best Buddies so that's working with an Adult with special needs.  I need to fill out my application for the orphanage in china I wanta go back there.  They say I can go back for 2-3 weeks to try it out before making a longer term commitment for like two years. Still not totally sure what I'm going to do after I graduate, still thinjking of doing a MSW if I can ever get my references, but we will see what happens.

Friday, 12 August 2011

I'm watching the movie " Amazing Grace" it's about William Wilberforce and the slave trade and how  he took years to abolish the slave trade.  It shows that when people put their minds to stuff and try to help people they can succeed. One person can make a difference.

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Post Pals

I came across this website through another blog I was on. I have been looking at the children. I think at some point  if I have time I will write some letters and send some emails. I have just been reading up on some of the children. Give me people to pray about. It's cool that the public can  send encouragements to kids who are sick. I wonder if they have something like that in Canada.  I will look into it.

Sunday, 7 August 2011

When I was in the airport in Chicago I bought a book called " A stolen Life," it is a great book I read it in one day, it fits along with the theme of this blog.  It is about this girl who was kidnapped at age 11 and lives 18 years in captivity and she had 2 children. It is a sad story but also really good because it gives hope in a horrible situation.  No matter what the situation that someone is in  there is always hope.

I have also been watching a movie called "I am David" it is a fictional story about a boy who escapes a concentration camp in Bulgaria, which was run during the Cold War.  I love stories like this that talk about humanity and hope, and that their is hope in the mist of even the darkest situations. 

I'm back...

Hey I'm back, I went to China for  a month it was amazing. God worked in amazing ways, it was cool to  work with Chinese teenagers and kids.  I also got to visit an orphanage it was really cool, I am considering going back there for a time. I love working with  kids, and those with special needs , and also with people from other countries so it is perfect. It was really cool how people were helping those in special needs, in China they are really not taken care of their was so much hope in the orphanage for the future. 16 kids have been adopted from this orphanage. Maybe in the future I will adopt a kid from China.

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Observations about Children

Today I was volunteering with kids, it was interesting.  It is very interesting because you can see the personalities of the kids showing up even in really young ones.  There are some who are showing signs of being perfectionist, get upset if stuff isn't just right.  Their are also the kids  a lot of them  want stuff just right who will get upset when they lose a game or they get it when we are playing tag.  Kids are very aware of if something is not fair, the other day some kids got a a freeze because he got hurts and got another one when the rest of the kids got freezes a bunch of people said it wasn't fair.  Today I noticed that it seemed more kids were "getting hurt" I wonder if they were after freezes or if they were legitimately hurt. It's hard to tell.  I love working with children but it can be stressful at times. They don't listen very well, I'm been used to working with ESL students and they actually want to be their.  Also with children you see that some of them are more sensitive then others. It starts very young, and of course you never know the background that the kids have come from totally. The way kids grow up can effect them as adults. It is an important time in there lives and I hope that I can help them somehow and make an impact on there lives for the better.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

TV protrayal of mental illness.

I was watching  NCIS : Los Angeles , and I noticed that it was the second show I've seen today, the first being criminals minds that gave a negative impression towards Mental Illness. In both cases it happened to be PTSD but I've seen it talked about many other disorders.  Unlike the TV portrays  most  people with Mental Illnesses are not violent, and the majority of people who are violent don't suffer from Mental Illness.  On the CMHA website it talks about violence and mental illness.  Just a thought as I was watching tv.

Social Anxiety

One thing that I struggle with is Social Anxiety. I find it really anxious when I am around big groups of people and also meeting new people. I'm am super terrified about crossing the boarder into the USA on Friday just don't like interacting with people.  However I am much better then I was before, I talk a lot more and I have less anxiety then before.  A really information site that has been recommended to me by a professional is Anxiety BC. This link links specifically to the social anxiety section but there is section for all sorts of types of anxiety. Anxiety Disorders are one of the most common mental illnesses in the world. Some information on this can be found at this site along with information about other disorders and mental illnesses.  I think I will write more on social anxiety and anxiety disorders later but I need to get off the computer for a bit... I may update this entry more later.

Eating Disorders link

I found this really interesting. This is 8 short stories about people affected by eating disorders.  It is really interesting. I found this link on a facebook site related to Danielle's Place This is an outpatient treatment place for people with eating disorders. It has different groups. It is situated in Burlington, Ontario. There are many other outpatient  resources in different parts of the country. There is different types of treatment, including outpatient treatment where one stays overnight, and they also have day patient treatment  where you go in for the day and come home and sleep at night.  Anyways I will write more on this later  but I'm going out for a walk right now.

... Ok back from the walk, by the way walking is a really good exercise , and I think it is also good for people with eating disorders if not done to intense because it doesn't have the intensity that other exercises do and you can do it for enjoyment and your not staring at a machine watching how many calories you are burning. If you have an eating disorder and you are allowed to exercise by your doctor then walking is a really good one to do.

Ok back to treatment .... Inpatient treatment can be  most intensive, just a suggestion for anyone who has an eating disorder or other mental health issue that may need more intensive treatment , get on the list when you can  you can always back out later if you don't need it at the time but many places have waiting lists and may take months or even years to get into treatment.  For example the eating disorder Inpatient program  around where I live  is  at Homewood has been known to have at least a 3-4 month wait if you have insurance and a 3-4 year wait if you don't have insurance as they have an OHIP paid bed. There are inpatient places all over the world one of the well known places is  Remuda Ranch. In addition Mercy Ministries  is a free  Christian treatment place for people with eating disorders and other issues. However having said this I don't know that much about  it and I have heard some negative things about Mercy but I also know it has helped many people, so it's always an option to look into.   If you are waiting for inpatient treatment, can't afford inpatient treatment  there is always less intensive places.  Many communities have a community mental health program that can service all sorts of issues.  An example of this is Trellis, which has outpatient services such as groups , therapist, psychiatrists, dietitians, etc. 

ED referral is a site that you can go to if your looking for treatment  in the United States.  For Canadians there doesn't seem to be as an extensive listing for Eating Disorder treatment. However I site with  drug and alcohol  resources also has resources for eating disorders in Canada.  This site has also link to many other resources with issues across Canada.

Recovery videos and groups...

 This shows how barbie can effect people and can effect people developing eating disorders.  This video and other videos show how Jesus has changed people's lives and helped them  to recover from the struggles of life. The second movie talks about how a girl recovered from eating disorder, self harm and drug addiction.  The third video talks about a model and how body image changed when she discovered Jesus and the fourth about being saved from suicide.  There are more movies on CBN channel on youtube. This is a Christian Radio broadcasting station.I'm not saying that psychiatry or medication  or therapy is not helpful, but Christianity  can also be an important part of  recovery.  These stories show how Christianity can make an impact in people's lives.  Though people need to reach out to people. One recovery group that helps is called Celebrate Recovery, it has meetings around the US and Canada, it is a 12 step program with a Christian based , it helps people recover from there hurts habits and hangups.  Another 12 step programs can be useful to for recovery including Narcotics Anonymous , Alcoholics Anonymous, Nar-Anon,  Al-anon , Eating Disorders Anonymous, and Gambling Anonymous. In these groups you don't have to believe in God or even have a higher power to go , though it does talk about  submitting your will to God in Step three, but even if your not religious they are very good to check out and can be really helpful. Also you don't have to be Christian to go to Celebrate Recovery, just check it out and see what you think, though it does use biblical verses in relation to the steps.  These groups are all separate and not associated with each other. They are anonymous meaning what is said in the group stays in the group.

If you are struggling with any sort of issue that you think you need extra help with or other people think you need help with ( usually people can see the truth before we do because of denial), reach out and get help  see your doctor or a therapist , it can really help to talk about your feelings. Hiding your feelings inside can cause problems. I heard somewhere that "Anger turned inward is Depression." If one doesn't deal with the anger it can lead to depression.  If you are struggling get help and reach out. 

Sunday, 12 June 2011

PTSD- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

The other day I was watching the TV series called Pacific.  It talks about WWII, it is interesting but one of the most interesting parts about it is it gets into how the war effected people.   Many of the men in the war developed symptoms of PTSD, though they did not totally understand what was happening.  There was a sad moment in the show when one of the men was having nightmares and in order to shut him up so the Japanese wouldn't hear them , they ended up knocking him out with a rock which in turn killed him. I found that a really sad part, because they didn't understand what was going on. Now a days they have medications that can help people with their PTSD nightmares and they have a better understanding what is going on. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can happen to other people not just people in war, and not everyone who has experienced a trauma develops PTSD.

Symptoms of PTSD include:

"PTSD can cause many symptoms. These symptoms can be grouped into three categories:
1. Re-experiencing symptoms:
  • Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
  • Bad dreams
  • Frightening thoughts.
Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. They can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.
2. Avoidance symptoms:
  • Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
  • Feeling emotionally numb
  • Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
  • Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
  • Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.
Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person to change his or her personal routine. For example, after a bad car accident, a person who usually drives may avoid driving or riding in a car.
3. Hyperarousal symptoms:
  • Being easily startled
  • Feeling tense or “on edge”
  • Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.
Hyperarousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.
It’s natural to have some of these symptoms after a dangerous event. Sometimes people have very serious symptoms that go away after a few weeks. This is called acute stress disorder, or ASD. When the symptoms last more than a few weeks and become an ongoing problem, they might be PTSD. Some people with PTSD don’t show any symptoms for weeks or months."

Taken from :

" To be diagnosed with PTSD, a person must have all of the following for at least 1 month:
  • At least one re-experiencing symptom
  • At least three avoidance symptoms
  • At least two hyperarousal symptoms
  • Symptoms that make it hard to go about daily life, go to school or work, be with friends, and take care of important tasks."
Taken from:

Being aware of this can be helpful as if one knows information it is easier to understand  what the person is going through.  There is data now that helps people with this to cope with the symptoms including grounding oneself so that the person can stay in the present and not be caught in the past. Medication can help to with flashbacks and nightmares.  Psychology has come a long way since  WWII and has made it easier for people to get the help that they need.

Wednesday, 8 June 2011


I have read a lot of books on different subjects. One of my favourite books  that  I recommend to anyone who has an eating disorder or knows someone with an eating disorder is  "Life without Ed" by Jenni Schaefer.  I really enjoyed this book because  it was easy to read, and was written in short chapters, which makes it much easier to read.  The main point of the book is separating oneself from  ED  ( or whatever one calls there eating disorder). This really spoke to me because I found ED was this other voice in my head , that goes against rational judgement.  Separating myself from that helped me find my own voice and know who I really am. There are many books that helped me in recovery from an eating disorder but this book has been my favourite. I have read it many times and have marked it up and highlighted it, I even  put numbers by the marks  and on the side of the book put the date I started  reading the book again.  This way I can look back  and see little comments I wrote and stuff that was important to me in that part of my recovery journey. I may post  more stuff on this book or other books in the future as I read through self help books and different books and reflect on them.

Another author which I find really good is Francine Rivers This author has many books. My favourite so far  is called "Redeeming Love", it is based on the book of Hosea in the Bible.  The main character Angel was sold into prostitution as a child and shows a story of how this man came to love her for who she was. She ran away  many times but through love changed her life.  I like this book because it gives people hope that no matter what background you come from God still loves you, and someone can change.  The other book I just started reading  is   "a lineage  of Grace," it talks about five women in the Bible, Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. In there society they did questionable things , yet they were also all in the lineage of Jesus.  This just shows to me that despite our struggles and mistakes , God loves us and can use us.  God can turn the Caterpillar into a butterfly through a transformation of a life. I don't know what the beliefs are of the people reading this blog but I know that belief in a God and Christianity  has really helped me in my life and in recovery. I respect the fact that people have different beliefs then I do.

Well I've recently thought about writing a book myself and then I thought maybe I will do that someday but for now I will get writing on topics that are interesting to me and once I start school  again probably relate to topics I learn about in school.  One way to write is to just start writing so that is what I am doing.