I've been sick but I got back to work today it was good to work with kids again. It makes me realize how much I miss my job when I'm not at it but i feel bad for missing work especially when people are counting on me.  I got my appetite back today i haven't been eating much recently , which is really good. I am meeting with my group after class today for our presentation I hope we can get some stuff done, nervous about that.  Our presentation is on  Child Care. The course is Women work and public policy. I'm trying to be positive  which is hard sometimes but I'm working on it.

thinking about the future...

Haven't written for a while. I am busy with school and work.  I am taking three courses  Intro Chinese,   Women work and Public Policy, and  community Mental Health. I like my classes. I just wonder what I'm going to do after I graduate. I work at a daycare , I really like it. I like working with kids. Today i was volunteering at church with a girl with special needs. I want to help people, but I wonder how I will go about it.  I can;t do much with just a sociology- social psychology degree.  Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the years I spent getting my degree. Like if I go do a college program  even if it's fast tracked it takes me a lot longer then if I just took a two year program. Will a degree really get me somewhere.  I try to have hope that this will all  work out, this blog is about positive stuff anyways, but sometimes life isn't the way you want it to be.  If I get my masters in social work then the degree will be worth it, but I'm so afraid I won't be able to get in.  Also I'm interested in Autism and Behavioural Sciences which is a post grad certificate, but I could have done that if I had an ECE diploma or SSW diploma which would have taken less time.  Though I love my courses and love studying. So I guess it's not a waste.  It just seems like I spend all this money on school and I won't make that much.  Not that I'm after the money , but I would need enough to survive. Social workers make more then Social Services workers but still it's not a lot.  Teaching could make more, as much as I love kids I don't know  if I could handle all those kids, i'm better working one on one, like with a kid with special needs. Though I do like working in the day care.  I could go for teacher's college but I know teaching is also really stressful. I guess all the jobs I'm looking at are stressful.  I want to help people , I'm not after money. I just worry to much wonder about my future. Wonder if I will ever get married have children. I've even considered adoption but I know that is expensive and you need some money to do that.  I guess getting out into the work force and the real world scares me.  I'm trusting God has a plan and he will lead me in the right direction next year.  I might take a year off and do something , like go to China. I've also thought of teaching English as a second language, that would be cool. Though I like working with kids too.  I love working with internationals. If I could work with kids in another country with special needs that would be perfect. There is an option of volunteering in an Orphanage in China which is cool, but it's volunteer and not paid and in the end i will need some sort of job.  Well I should go to bed, thanks for reading.

This is not really positive but not everything in life is positive and it's something important. I was talking in class about women's work, and how there is still a gender gap between men and women, men get  paid more the women, women get penalized for being a mother.  Also the thing they don't tell us when we start are degree is that most of us won't get high paying jobs in our fields.  The Universities are trying to make money, and the President makes millions of dollars, while students go in dept, it's really not fair. Tuition rates have gone up 400% in the last 10 years, that's insane.  It kind of makes me wonder if my university degree is worth it, if I can't get into a good job. I am looking at possibly getting my masters in social work.  So if i do that then that's  good  but then there's issues whether or not i will get into grad school. Anyways i g2g to bed I will write more later.

Messenger

I just finished reading a book called " The Messenger"  it is about Mattie J.T. Stepanek. http://www.mattieonline.com/  This is an amazing story about a young boy who had a terminal illness but this didn't let him get in the way. He was able to make an impact on people in his life and around the world.  He wrote  his own books and talked about Peace around the world.  Even though he was dying and on life support  he made an impact in people's lives. Even people who are the sickest can have hope and make an impact.  No matter what you are going through you can be positive and come out of it the other end.  Even the mother Jeni was able to have a positive attitude despite her lost. She lost 4 children  to a neuromuscular  disease that she herself had. I think it takes a lot of courage to write a book and express positives of life even though she was in grief and loss.

Soul Surfer

Soul Surfer is the most amazing movie. It is a great example of perseverance and determination.  This is a true story of how  girl went through an amazing hard time but she fought through it and went back to surfing, she didn't give up  She got back in the water . she was able to deal with trauma  and move on.  She was also a Christian which was cool it also showed how God  helped her get through it. She trusted God even though she didn't understand.  Her Youth pastor told her she didn't know why God always stuff to happen, and it's cool how God took her life and made her an inspiration to other people.  She also went to Thailand and helped people, she helped a boy get back into the water after a tsunami. It's amazing how she was able to take a bad situation and turn it into good. "Life is tough, get back on the board and try again, you will be successful with what you do."

I have gone through some hard times in my life and God has helped my through, but this movie has really encouraged that I can succeed even when it feels like it is impossible.  I think anyone can move through stuff and move on and succeed even in difficult situations.  God can really help people get through tough times . This movie also made me really  thankful that I have two arms. We complain a lot about life and how bad it is but most of us have two arms, and without an arm Bethany was able to do stuff we do with two arms, it's amazing. I think it's a good movie to watch if you want a pick me up and to feel thankful about what you have. Bethany was thankful for what she had when she went to Thailand.

Precious and other thoughts.

I watched to movie precious. Its a novel about an overweight teenage her that is having her  second child  after being raped by her Father. She's also abused by her mother. It is a really sad story. Though I know this stuff happens to people around the world.  Though  the movie shows that people can get better even in the most desperate situations and I know that people can get better . This story  reminds me of freedom writers which is another good movie which is based on a true story that talk about kids who get given a good education and a teacher believes and them and they are able to succeed, some of these kids went to college  the first out of there families.  I think people can be helped if they have people who really care, who will listen to them and care about them. People do much better when they have someone who believes in them that thinks they can succeed, and sadly not all kids grow up in an encouraging environment so sometimes they need encouragement from outside sources . Teachers can have a huge impact on a child or teenager. I thought of being a teacher or a social worker because I want to help people who are in need and make in impact in people's lives especially kids, because they are young and it's easier to make an impact in a child's life then someone who is older.  Though I'm also really interested in working with children with special needs.  I want to use my work to be able to help people who are in need.  I still don't know totally what i want to do with my future but I know I want to be able to help other people.

Book : Sarah's Key , etc.

I just finished reading another book. Sarah's Key. Though it's a fictional book it talks about an historical event that happened in France, the notorious Vel' d'Hiv Roundup in 1942.   It was a really good book but sad.  Now I really don't think I can come up with any positives  about the holocaust and  I'm not going to try.  It just makes me think a lot about this world and how sad  it is that people can be so evil to other people  and hate them because of who they are.  Though the only positive thing that happened during that time was the few people that helped the jews out like  the couple from the farm in the story of Sarah's Key. Though a true story of someone who helped the Jews was Corrie Ten Boom. She wrote the book  The Hiding Place that tells about her story and what she dealt with at the concentration camp.  The amazing thing is that she was able to forgive to man who was so mean to her and her sister in the camp.  So I guess I didn't see any positives at first but if you look at Corrie Ten Boom you can see that even out of the most devastating situations there can be forgiveness.  There was a big difference been the character Sarah and Corrie in that way, even though Sarah's story was fictional I'm sure it has truth to it and similar stuff happened to someone.  We have a choice we can let our past haunt us like it did Sarah or we can use are past to help others and forgive people  like Corrie Ten Boom.   Though Corrie Ten Boom  was a Christian  and that is why she was able to forgive just as God forgave us she was able to forgive her worse enemy.

"Even as the angry vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him....Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness....And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives along with the command, the love itself."
— Corrie Ten Boom (The Hiding Place)

"Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart."
— Corrie Ten Boom